This is a song/saying that I made up for my nieces and nephew and eventually Stone I guess.

For when I am reminding them to behave:

Me: What do I expect?
Kids: Well behaved children.
Me: And will you behave well?
Kids: Yes our/my auntie Michelle.


For when they are misbehaving:

Me: What do I expect?
Kids: Well behaved children.
Me: And are you behaving well?
Kids: No but we/I promise we/I will.

I have to accept that I have a body that tries to die by default. If I am not constantly diligent about my insulin, I quickly slip into a familiar haze. It's easy for me to remain in this hazy state because I have been so used to it for so many years it feels normal. That is until I take some insulin and start to feel better. Then I realize, how I was feeling before was my body trying to die on me.

Over Christmas, I was so busy and distracted that I neglected myself. Due to all the traveling from this persons house to that, my diabetic supplies had become scattered and disorganized and I didn't have time to gather it all up if I was to stay on my schedule of festive activities. By the third day of inconsistent and not enough insulin I was feeling pretty awful but I didn't realize it because it had been a gradual decline. On Christmas day after the morning frenzy with the kids and food I started to slip away as I do. I got that heavy feeling in my stomach and chest, I fell asleep and could not fully wake up. Josh said he noticed when I was laying on the couch that my face was really pale and then when he tried to wake me up I was almost nonresponsive. I guess at that point he left to go gather all my supplies for me then woke me up with a few shots. I felt a little better a few hours later but the next day (yesterday) when I finally spent some time at home I checked my ketones and they were moderate which means they were probably large over the days that I was not taking my insulin correctly. Moderate to Large ketones means DKA and possible death are not far from reality if something isn't done. I hate that my body shuts down so fast. What a ridicules disease, seriously. My body = fail.

Well it has happened. Stone is big enough to pick on his cousins. Chase (age 2) did the same thing at this age. Yesterday I had the twins (age 5) over. I stepped out of the room for a sec and heard Alexia screaming so I rushed back in and there she was laying on the floor with Stone sitting next to her pulling her hair and pinching her face. The thing is, she does nothing about it. She does not get up or try to move away, she does not push him off of her, she just lays there helplessly screaming and crying about it. As a result, the baby becomes intrigued by her reaction and continues to try make her squeal. When Chase used to do this we had to convince her that she was bigger and had the power to stand up so her face and hair would be out of his reach. Also that she was stronger and could push him away from her when he was attacking her face. Now Stone is doing the same things to her and we will have to teach her this stuff all over again. She is such a strange child. Unlike Lexi, her twin, Jaden does not have any problem being assertive. My poor pathetic Lexi Lou-Lou Poo.